It’s hot, I’m tired, I have a cold and a teensy hangover.
I can’t be arsed getting off the couch and I’ve been surfing forums pretty much since I got up.  At  one point, I detoured to Google Images to find a picture of Robert Pattinson to appease a twifan who may have been traumatised by my Maybelline signature there.
Now, Twilight aside, I’m a bit of a fan of RPatz. Not because he makes me all SQUEEE!!!! (which he doesn’t, although I have noticed in some of his candid shots he …

I found myself standing at the counter in the general store this afternoon, wondering why the guy was looking at me a bit funny. Finally I realised it was because I was absent-mindedly turning a specimen jar over in my hands.
“Oh,” I said, glancing at the jar and then shoving it quickly into my bag. “That was for the jelly beans.”
I realised halfway home, of course, that I probably should’ve explained that ‘jelly beans’ wasn’t a euphemism for anything, and that the nurse gave Charlotte a jar of beans after her immunisations, …

I think the only thing funnier than a sad, obviously single, young man sitting in his bedroom at night recording pixels having sex and posting it on YouTube so other sad, single pubescents can snigger over it, is having your mother interrupting the recording to insist you go to bed because you have work in the morning.  And then continue to film and post clip complete with maternal harassment voiceover.
watch?v=COCAdNN_U14
(Maternus interruptus happens around 2:10)

As I was unbreaking the blog and uploading content from as far, far away as 2006, I came across a post about Banned Book Week.
It reminded me that the American Library Association has just celebrated another BBW, to remind us all of the importance of intellectual freedom even if we sometimes find the content unsavoury.  It’s ironic (in an Alanis sort of way) that we live in an age and culture that is more open and has more access to media and each other’s thoughts than ever before, and yet …

The winner of MasterChef Australia was announced at 9:30pm AEST, but at 8:57pm the Daily Telegraph published a spoiler ‘announcing’ Poh as the winner. In a display of journalistic ineptitude which is the hallmark of the Telegraph’s general standard in accuracy, the article is complete with quotes from the apparent winner and loser of tonight’s show.
“This is really a surreal feeling,” the 35-year-old, who hails from Norwood in South Australia toldThe Daily Telegraph.
“New ground is forged when you take risks and I’ve taken a few during this competition which have …

“Guns don’t kill people.
Emo people do.”

If Charlotte gets eaten, can I have her toys?”
“What on earth would she be eaten by?”
“A bear, probably. So, can I?”

Honestly, I think merchandising has officially gone too far.
At Target the other evening, thanks to a toddler who is obsessed with the little red guy, we had every single Elmo branded product pointed out to us. And there are LOTS. In every department.
Among the worst was an Elmo shaped pinata. I mean, c’mon, what child is going to witness someone beating the candy out of Elmo, and NOT be traumatised for life?
The prize, however, probably goes to the Elmo potty. I was too scared to check whether or not it …