In October 2006 I wrote a little tale about our current bank The biggest bank kludge of all time.

Of course back then we were lowly renters with modest savings (most of which were with a better bank!). The tale ended after 4 months and with Ombudsman intervention, with them depositing $250 in my bank account and sending me a letter informing me of same, and stating in no uncertain terms that it was not an admission of wrongdoing, but just so I’d stop writing to them. They lost our custom. I don’t think they noticed.

Fast forward a year and change, and we are now homeowners.  With a different bank, obviously. In the end our best mortgage option was with a bank that ironically, my own parents had taken to the Ombudsman over the bank’s mis-management of their own mortgage, which nearly cost them our family home. They won a landmark victory against the bank, which prompted new legislation increasing the amount the Ombudsman could award in order for my parents to be remunerated properly.

Anywho. About a month and a half into our loan repayments, we receive a nicely worded letter informing us that our loan repayments were behind by $90. After I finished soiling myself and regrouped, I phoned them, concerned that the direct debit had been set up incorrectly and hoping we could fix it before the situation got worse.

Well. They couldn’t have been nicer to me if they had come over and given me a foot rub.  The Customer Service assistant apologised and explained that because we pay fortnightly, and the bank calculates monthly, sometimes at the end of the month the mortgage account would seem ‘behind’, but would be caught up with the next payment.  I was not to worry and sorry they scared me!  I made an extra repayment anyway, just in case!

Story over? No. Monday morning at 7am there’s a knock on our door.  I answer it to a courier brandishing a box marked ‘Everything But Flowers’. We bring it inside and open it to find the below:

Now, conveniently overlooking the fact that it’s not fair trade chocolate,  I read the polite note from our bank, apologising once again and hoping we enjoy our hamper. Hell yes.  (And i’m also conveniently overlooking the fact that this hamper is probably built somewhere into our mortgage costs!!!).