It’s hot, I’m tired, I have a cold and a teensy hangover.

I can’t be arsed getting off the couch and I’ve been surfing forums pretty much since I got up.  At  one point, I detoured to Google Images to find a picture of Robert Pattinson to appease a twifan who may have been traumatised by my Maybelline signature there.

Now, Twilight aside, I’m a bit of a fan of RPatz. Not because he makes me all SQUEEE!!!! (which he doesn’t, although I have noticed in some of his candid shots he looks a little like a younger version of my husband (who, in turn, sometimes looks like a younger version of Bob Geldof)) but because he refers to Twilight fans as voyeurs, called SMeyer out on her creepiness and refuses to watch the films. He’s also desperately trying to redeem his career, playing Dali in Little Ashes and planning similar departures from predictability in other upcoming roles.

Anyway, that was a bit of a digression, this isn’t actually about Twilight.

When I was looking for the image, I typed “rob…” into google images and the first suggested result was “Robert Pattinson”. He’s the #1 googled Rob out there, apparently. Out of interest I deleted and simply typed in “r”, and guess what… he is the most searched for “R” on the planet.  Rihanna is second, so I suppose anything is possible when it comes to kids and search engines.

It made me wonder though, what came up under the other letters:

A – angelina jolie B – beyonce C – christmas D – dogs E – edward cullen F – flowers G – google images H – halloween I – images J – justin bieber K – katrina kaif L - lady gaga M – megan fox N – new moon O – owl city P – puppies Q – question mark R - robert pattinson S - selena gomez T – taylor lautner U – ugly people V – vanessa hudgens W – wallpaper X – xbox 360 Y – youtube Z – zac efron

Now, while recognising that the Twilight series (I refuse to call it a saga, it’s not a bloody saga, it’s just another example of thesaurus rape) has sold something like 85 million copies, I just absolutely refuse to believe that there are that many people out there googling these terms. Further evidence is found in the letter G. Rly? People are going into google images and typing ‘google images’? No. I don’t think so.

I’m now utterly convinced of a conspiracy. I don’t believe that Google is reflecting popular culture at all, I believe it’s dictating it.  Take the letter D for example. Despite the incredible hype surrounding the two-part finalé to the Harry Potter series, Deathly Hallows doesn’t feature at all. David Beckham does, and someone called Demi Lovato, but no DH, no Draco, nothing.  Puppies and ugly people I’d believe, and I’m sure question marks are highly sought after, but the rest …. just no.

And now, because I can, here’s the number seven most popular ‘dan…’